Chaos Control, Part III: Defrag Your Life
This is a multi-part guide, split into 3 distinct parts. This post covers Part III: Your Life.
Now that we've learned how to defrag our minds by:
Allowing the subconscious mind get to work
Providing regular time in a low-stimulus environment so the brain can recharge
Conducting a Chaos Control session - reflecting, organizing and planning regarding 2-3 key aspects of our life we want to improve
We can now expand this even further outward to a more generalized, holistic sense of life.
Part of the overwhelm with all this is that it's a big, dark nebulous cloud of 'so much to do' that you can't think straight, you're always in a rush, you don't know where to start, there's even more inertia because you have to try to wade through all of it and decide what to do in this very moment, every time.
We're going to dump all the 'files' that are inside our mind out in front of us, then organize, prioritize and even eliminate some of them via Brain Dumping.
That might sound scary to do. But a monster you can see and understand is much less scary than an unknown monster of unknown shape, size and strength.
Note: if at any point while creating these brain dump lists you think "this is too much, I won't be able to fit all of this in"... You're right. Don't worry about that yet - we're going to trim everything down later. AFTER we spew all of it out of our minds and onto paper.
Brain Dump #1 - The Upkeep List
Brain dump every task or thing that you need to do on a regular basis. Just start with 'every day or every week' stuff for now. It'll probably be a lot, but at least you'll be able to put a number to it. If it remains an ambiguous cloud in your brain, it feels infinite. Chances are you'll be able to batch some of these things together later anyway.
We need to get this stuff sorted to free up space for thinking about stuff that might be regular, but on longer time scales (monthly, quarterly, yearly etc.).
Important: only list stuff that you actually have to think about doing. A bill that gets paid automatically… we don't need to write that down. Think of this extreme example: you don't have to write down 'turn on light' on your to-do list. That is an automatic action. If you have other actions that are automatic like that, or have become such a habit that you don't really need to think about doing it, don't write it down.
Work, gym, breakfast, lunch, dinner, vacuum, clean counters, walk the dog, stretch, cut the grass, water the plants… Anything and everything.
Next to each item, write down the frequency at which that item needs to be done. Once a week, 3 times a week, daily?
Then, pick the day(s) that you'll complete that item each week.
Brain Dump #2 - The Side Quest List
The Eisenhower Matrix is a great tool for helping you prioritize tasks (or decide if they are even worth doing at all). It sorts tasks into four quadrants based on urgency and importance: do it now (urgent and important), decide when to do it (important, not urgent), delegate it (urgent, not important), or delete it (neither urgent nor important).
We're trying to capture Quadrant 2 stuff here - Important, Not Urgent. These are the things that slip through the cracks, and typically, at some point in your life they will turn into a 'HOLY SHIT' level of urgency, which can lead to less than stellar outcomes and could have been avoided or made much easier by doing something about it long before it became urgent.
Action Step: Brain dump miscellaneous 'big' / one-off things that are always on your mind or keep coming up.
Then, start organizing them by how important they are - NOT how urgent they are, or else you'll never get to a lot of this stuff… That's how this happened to begin with.
These items can either be one-off/very rare things (writing your will comes to mind as something very important, but incredibly un-urgent... Until it is), or reoccurring items that happen on longer timescales than a week (filing taxes for example).
Now for the fun stuff.
Brain Dump #3 - The Me List
Brain dump all the stuff you WANT to do on a regular/weekly basis. Spending time with people you like, your hobbies and personal projects go here. There could be some overlap here with Brain Dump #1. (I need to exercise regularly for my health, but I also want to do it - it's a hobby, too.)
This might be the 'fun' list, but it is JUST as important as the first two. (I covered why your hobbies are more important than you think in Part II of this guide.)
Brain Dump #4 - The Dream List
What do you dream about?
That's what this list is.
This is pretty much a 'bucket list'.
Action Step: Brain dump big ideas and experiences that YOU want to have or do. Things you want to create and bring into the world.
Want to write a book someday? Learn an instrument, release a recording? Make your own video game? Travel to Europe?
You can write down some less 'grand' ideas or goals, too.
Maybe you have a personal or house project that's been stagnant for months or years (maybe you've thought about it a whole lot but haven't actually started).
Getting an old car fixed up. Refinishing an old piece of furniture.
That's what this list is for.
Routine, Schedule
These words used to make me want to puke in my mouth. But I've come to realize there's so many ways to tackle this. It's not black and white: it is a continuum. On one end, 'living' your 'life' like a mindless, soulless robot with no spontaneity, simply executing tasks. ← This is the conclusion I would jump to when I heard these words. I felt like it was an imprisonment, and taking away my freedom of choice of what to do with my time (even though I came up with the routine/schedule), leaving no room for spontaneity or flexibility.
So, I thought the only other option was the opposite end of the spectrum: Pure chaos. Nothing planned or predetermined, no schedule. All 'winging it', 'whatever I feel like doing' at the time, which leads to the problem of too many choices of what to do with your time.
The one thing I DID have quite a bit of structure around, even when I lacked it everywhere else?
My lifting routine. It took me far too long to realize that many other areas of my life would greatly benefit from a similar level of structure, routine and schedule.
The solution is to meet somewhere in the middle. YOU get to choose how far you lean toward either end of the continuum. Just don't pick the very end of either side.
Now that we have a rough idea of how many puzzle pieces there are, and their shape, we can start putting the puzzle together.
Putting the Pieces Together
The 'puzzle' analogy helped me a lot with enjoying this process. It went from feeling like constructing my own prison to playing a game: A game that I have a lot of control over. And if I don't like the way the puzzle looks, I can swap pieces out and try something different. It's not set in stone; you don't have to get it 'right' the first time and have it set that way forever. It is constantly evolving. It is a never-ending experiment.
Find pieces that naturally go together, that have a similar theme or location. Instead of thinking about 'strength training 3x a week, cardio 3x a week and stretching 3x a week', I combine them all cognitively as 'the gym'. I go to the gym 3x a week. I cover all 3 of those things each time I go.
Quick Tip: Look at each item individually: is it cognitively demanding, do you experience a lot of task inertia (trouble getting started)? Is there a large startup cost (setup time, cleanup time etc.)? → Better to do it less frequently but in larger chunks of time.
Startup and Overhead Costs
Many tasks, projects or activities have startup and/or overhead 'costs' that we don't think about. If we are trying to fit in quite a lot of these in a single week, you might find yourself spending a lot of time just physically or mentally preparing, or getting a 'lay of the land' on whatever you're working on.
This can be anything - from a house project, housecleaning, work, or a hobby. It takes time to get the brain into gear and to really sink into the thing you're working on. You don't want to be spending 75% of your time in this phase, and only 25% (or less) in the real work phase where you're in the groove.
Example: trying to record a song, spending 30 minutes a few days a week, but it takes 10 minutes to get set up and another 10 to warm up? That's:
60 minutes/week in 'startup cost'
30 minutes/week of the actual thing you're trying to do
Whereas if you combined those 3 30-minute sessions together into one 90-minute block, once a week, now you have:
20 minutes/week in 'startup cost'
70 minutes/week of the actual thing you're trying to do
You could easily replace this example with a workout routine, too - if you have to drive to the gym, warm up, do your workout and shower afterward… It might make sense to structure your program as a low frequency, higher-effort routine. Even if the actual workout portion ends up being a bit longer, or simply more challenging… Now you're only driving to the gym, warming up and showering say 3 days a week instead of 5 or 6. Driving to the gym, warming up and showering are NOT the thing you're trying to accomplish.
There ARE things that actually work better in short, frequent chunks, too - you have to examine each individual puzzle piece and think about which approach would be better. A big part of it is this 'startup and overhead costs' concept, but obviously certain things need to be done at different frequencies.
Quick Tip: Short on time, or have lots of small chunks of time but no large chunks? Minimize startup and overhead costs wherever possible.
Music Recording example:
Leave your recording software open, at the precise point where you left off
Jot down quick notes of what you were working on, thoughts, notes of changes you want to make or experimentation with the next part of the song, so you don't have to retrace your steps when you come back ('what was I doing again?')
Guitar is sitting nearby
USB is plugged into PC ready to go
Brief warmup - since you know the part you're going to record next (since you took notes and can just tell because your software is still open), just play that part for a couple minutes to warm up before recording. If it's a technical piece, start slow and pick up speed.
You might be able to cut your startup time from around 10-20 minutes, down to 2-5.
Now there could be downsides here - perhaps having your instrument and recording software open at all times and basically ready to go, could be tempting to you at times when you aren't intending on recording music. Perhaps you compromise by doing all of the above, but your guitar is kept in a different room. Now you've still cut down the startup time, without the temptation. Definitely NOT speaking from experience here...
Workout Routine example:
Let's say that you are 25 minutes away from the nearest gym and you work from home. Every night (or morning), you have about 60 minutes you can allot toward fitness - including travel time. Well, you'd be spending 50 of those minutes just driving there and back… So that's not going to work. (You could probably find a way to make more time, but in this example we're assuming you truly have exactly 60 minutes, for illustrative purposes.)
In this case you'd almost certainly want to get some workout equipment (even just dumbbells) for home workouts. That way you're not wasting 90% of your 'gym time' on driving.
Perhaps you have more time on the weekends. Then, you could do 2 at-home workouts during the week, and 1 workout at the gym on the weekend. You don't have to pick one or the other. Get creative. Find ways to make it work.
Try This: The 14 Day Cycle, aka A/B Weeks
Why you might want to try this:
Adds variety in a structured manner. Next week is ALWAYS going to be different than this week. But, you're just alternating between two different 'types' of weeks.
Minimizes 'startup' and/or 'overhead' costs - 'costs' in terms of time and brainpower, as discussed above.
We all fall into the same trap of adding too many things to our to-do lists, routines, plans and schedules - inevitably falling short and feeling frustrated.
If we list out all the stuff we'd like to do in a week, and then simply spread it out over two weeks, we can alleviate this problem. The hard part is to actually stick to this and allow yourself to 'trick' yourself into doing this - and not trying to be super smart and cram what you THINK is two weeks worth of stuff (hint: it's not) into two weeks.
'I don't feel like I can fit everything I want or need to fit into my week.'
(I'm willing to bet approximately 100% of us find this statement to be true.)
OK, spread it across two weeks then.
If you still can't, then it's an expectations issue - you're simply trying to fit too much within that amount of time. Or you went "Now I have 2 weeks! Let's double the amount of 'stuff' I'm trying to fit in!"
It's kind of like having a small house crammed with stuff, thinking that a larger house will solve the problem… And then that larger house seems to magically fill itself up with more stuff. And then complaining that the house isn't big enough. The house is simply the size that it is; your expectations or judgment of how much you could fit in it and still enjoy the space is what is off. Or more likely, you weren't really paying attention and slowly, almost imperceptibly over time, it slowly became too full.
Time is the same way. A week is always going to be 7, 24-hour days no matter how much you wish there were more days in the week, or that each day were longer. Even if we could somehow magically add an 8th day, or make each day 28 hours long… We would inevitably reach the same complaint of 'there's not enough time in the day/days in the week'. It cannot be changed. Since it cannot change, we have to adjust around it.
Not to get too existential… But this is the human struggle with mortality. We CANNOT possibly fit in everything that we'd want to do, for time is finite and we do not live forever. We have to choose what we do, and leave some other things behind, even though we want to do them.
This is what gives things meaning and importance.
If we could do literally everything - perhaps if we were immortal, or if we could accomplish anything we wanted to in an instant - then everything would be meaningless. Everybody could do all things that there are to do, so nothing is unique. No sacrifice is made. Nothing is impressive because everybody could do it, and, in the case of immortality, you could always just 'do something later'.
-Shane
