Everything Is A Game (Here's How To Play) — Part III
V. Challenge-Skill Match
When a challenge you are faced with is well below your skill level, the challenge does not excite you. You are bored.
When a challenge you are faced with is far above your skill level, the challenge feels impossible. You are uncomfortable, anxious and afraid.
When a challenge you are faced with meets your skill level, or is ever so slightly out of reach, you feel energized. You feel excited. You feel enjoyment. You feel an intense focus. You can't think about anything else but the present moment, because it requires your full attention — but you're also not fearing failure, because you know you can do it.
This is called flow, a concept developed by author and psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
Think about any video game you've ever played. Think about some of your favorite challenging moments you've had to overcome. I guarantee you were in the flow state during that moment — that's why it stands out to you. It would not have been an epic or memorable moment if it was very easy for you. Likewise, if you were nowhere near the skill level (or perhaps your character was underleveled or undergeared) required to overcome that challenge… Then, well… You did not overcome the challenge. You were likely frustrated. On occasion, you might be able to 'cheese' your way through this kind of thing with some unintended game mechanics. Maybe you figured out a way to attack the boss once and then hide behind a wall for a few seconds so he wouldn't hit you, and proceeded to do that for the next 30 minutes until you finally brought him down.
Sure, you might have won the battle… But that doesn't feel like much of an 'epic victory' does it? That's not really one of those 'favorite gaming moments' that's going to stand out to you. In fact, you instantly moved that encounter from one end of the spectrum (challenge far exceeds skill, leading to anxiety, frustration) to the other (far too easy, thus boring).
Why does this matter? Why does the relationship between the challenge and our skill level matter?
Because the FUN is right in the middle.
The fun is when we're in the flow state.
An otherwise great game can be completely thrown off by a poorly designed difficulty curve. If the game gets relatively easier as you progress (likely because your player power grows at a faster rate than the enemies you encounter get more challenging), it feels pretty underwhelming, anticlimactic and… boring.
If the game gets frustratingly difficult, where every enemy one-shots you no matter your level or gear, it's just going to be a miserable experience until you say 'forget this' and gently set your controller down on the couch (and you definitely, totally did not chuck it across the room).
But those games that get it right… Well, you might not even notice, because you were having too much fun being in the flow state so often.
And guess what… flow state is not unique to conquering a challenging boss in a video game. It can be found in anything that you do.
If something is boring to you, find a way to make it more challenging.
If something is anxiety-inducing or otherwise psychologically uncomfortable, find a way to make it easier.
Is working out in a public gym Monday–Friday intimidating and overwhelming? Start out by doing 2–3 workouts per week at home, even if you have no exercise equipment. You can always work your way up as you gain confidence, strength and consistency.
By making it easier to the point that the challenge matches your current skill level - not where you wish it was, or where you want it to be someday — where it is in this moment — you give yourself the opportunity to actually get better. Eventually you'll be ready to do that thing that used to make you uncomfortable.
Instead of banging your head against the wall over and over again, asking 'why won't this work? why can't I do this?', just walk around the corner and take the stairs — one step at a time.
Wu-Wei
I love the Chinese concept of 'Wu-Wei'. It roughly translates to 'effortless action'.
This does NOT mean 'don't put any effort in', or 'don't attempt'. It's closer to what Yoda told Luke: "Do, or do not. There is no try."
'Trying' indicates a sense of struggling and fighting against some external force, whereas 'effortless action' or 'Do, or do not' indicates a sense of going with the flow of the river, rather than against.
This is what flow state feels like; effortless action. The feeling when effort doesn't feel hard; it feels good. Sometimes, 'trying harder' isn't the answer. Sometimes the answer is to realize that you're fighting the 'flow of the universe' or whatever you want to call it, and to alter your strategy or path to something that feels more natural to you so that you can stop fighting the flow and instead go with it.
Where in your life do you feel like you're going against 'the flow of the universe'?
Where do you feel like you 'keep trying harder', only for it to backfire?
Where in your life do you feel like you're following common advice, or the advice others have given you, but it's never felt 'right' to you? As if you were going against the flow of your own river?
This concept also ties in pretty nicely with process goals > outcome goals. We hear 'process vs outcome' all the time, but what does that actually mean?
It means setting frequent, short term goals on things you have complete control over — your efforts and actions — rather than on an outcome (winning the game). You don't 'win' by thinking about winning the entire time. You win by executing each individual action as best as you can, and being mindful of how you can do better next time.
Kobe's response when asked 'if he hates losing more than he loves winning':
"Neither. I play to figure things out. I play to learn something… If you play with a fear of failure or you play with a will to win… I think it's a weakness either way."
When asked about him overcoming fear of failure or not being fazed by it:
"Failure doesn't exist. What does it mean? It's a figment of your imagination… If you 'fail' on Monday, it's only a failure if you decide not to progress from that."
The more you lean into process focused goals over outcome focused goals, the happier you'll be (and you'll actually make more progress & perform better).
VI. Agency
We play video games. We don't watch video games.
Sure, there are cinematic and dialogue elements in many games where you do get to sit back and enjoy the show for a bit. It can be a nice breakup in gameplay. But then you get back to playing. In fact, I love cutscenes, especially in-game cutscenes — where you watch the story develop, see your character interacting and speaking with other characters… and then the game seamlessly transitions to 'play mode' and you regain control of your character.
God of War comes to mind as a series that's done this particularly well, but there are countless examples.
It immerses you further into the story and the character you are playing. You really feel like you are the character you are controlling… But if the entire game was a string of cutscenes put together, it's no longer a game. It's a movie.
A game is interactive. You have a controller (or mouse and keyboard) so that you can influence the outcome of the game. We want to feel in control of that outcome (at least, to a large degree). Yes, a story-based game is typically on 'guardrails' — the story has already been written, and you are playing within that story. But you feel that your actions as the player are what led to that outcome. And while the destination is already set, the path you take to get there may look very different from someone else's — or, even your path the next time you play it. You don't get to see the resolution of the story until you become skilled enough to beat the final boss. You don't even get to face the final boss until you conquer all the challenges that come before.
This is Agency — feeling like you're in control of the outcome. Feeling like the choices that you make matter. This is agency on more of a 'macro' level.
If we zoom in on individual gameplay elements, we can see Agency on a micro level. Let's look at individual examples of High Agency (good) and Low Agency (bad) to see why Agency matters:
Character control responsiveness and 'smoothness'
High Agency: The controls feel very responsive; your character consistently does exactly what you 'told' them to do via inputs, the response is fast, and character movement feels smooth and fluid. You feel in complete control of your character.
Low Agency: The controls do not feel responsive; your character doesn't seem to do what you want them to do consistently, the input response seems delayed, and character movement feels clunky and frustrating. You don't feel in control of your character.
Combat System
High Agency: You need to alter your gameplay based on enemy types you encounter; an enemy with a shield requires a different strategy than an enemy without one. Weak enemies may be stunned by your strong attacks, but a large enemy is not and thus you must employ more of a 'hit and run/dodge' strategy. You might need to use different types of weapons on different enemies, or simply because of the way you have built your character, you are more proficient at using a sword than say a mace. You feel like your choices matter, because they do. You get rewarded for solving the 'combat puzzle' by defeating enemies more efficiently (or just being able to beat them, period).
Low Agency: You can use any attack you feel like, no matter which type of enemy you're facing, and you will win. You can just spam the same button with no thought, and you will do just as well as if you tried to perform intricate combos, or use specific attacks for specific enemies. You feel like your choices don't matter, because the outcome is the same no matter what. There are games out there with combat 'systems' like this. They are not good games.
Character Decisions
High Agency: You get to make a choice whether to befriend a particular NPC, or make them your foe. If you befriend them, you gain a powerful ally. If you make them your foe, you have a chance to steal their powerful artifact for your own personal gain. This choice alters the storyline in a meaningful way, and changes your gameplay experience in a unique way based on the choice you make.
Low Agency: When a game gives you a 'choice' in dialogue, but the NPC responds the same way regardless of what you choose, and it has no impact on the game whatsoever. It's cute, but this is a false sense of 'player agency'.
It would be amazing to have complete agency — complete control — over everything in our lives. At least, it sounds amazing. Part of the beauty of life is the uncertainty. But, I'm sure most of us (myself included) would like to have more control.
A big draw of a video game is the sense of control it gives you — especially when we don't feel in control of our lives as much as we want to be. There's nothing wrong with this. However, it's important to realize that the sense of control is part of what's drawing us to the game.
Where do you feel you are lacking agency in your life? What can you do to give yourself at least a little bit more control over that area in your life? There's almost always something we can do.
Our perception is our reality. Can you perceive the situation in a different way that would give you more control? At the very least, make you feel in control of your feeling about the situation?
Can you perceive the situation in a different way where you're okay with relinquishing the need for control?
One of the most freeing things we can do is to realize we can't control everything. Focus on what you can control, don't worry about what you can't. Take personal responsibility for what you can control as opposed to blaming external forces. It's easier to blame external forces than it is to take personal responsibility — but it also gets you nowhere in life.
—Shane
